The Colours Change From Time to Time
by KaorinPaintsTheStars
Summary: Ruri has a moment of contemplation about the past. Set during the movie.


A/N: Heh, uncharted territory for me – my first fanfic that isn't based on a game nervous. Spent ages just trying to get the dialogue and characterisation right by way of the movie – oh yeah, that's when this is set by the way; just after the evacuation of terminal colony Amaterasu during the film. Uh, disclaimers…right, I don't own the characters or series/film, and the quoted lyrics are © to Fightstar, taken directly from the album sleeve of _Grand Unification_. I'll hand this over now…

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"I've started up the clocks. It's time I left behind.

And everything we lost, disappears.

I've started up the race. It's something I can't change.

Now we're not the same."

Fightstar, "_Mono_"

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The room was cool and clinical in appearance, but these days that was how Ruri preferred it. She had found that the sparse ambience often helped her relax from the duties of captain; helped her think too – and since that day she had done a lot of thinking.

Ignoring the unfinished reports that were flashing insistently on the screen of her desk terminal, the young captain swiftly crossed the bedroom; pausing only to kick off her shoes before perching on the edge of her bed, her eyes turned upwards in thought.

"Omoikane," she said quietly. "Please bring up all existing files on Akito Tenkawa."

The command was spoken softly – no more than a whisper – but the core computer identified it as a request and, within seconds, a small translucent window had opened above her head, obscuring the ceiling with lines of text and images. Ruri flopped onto her back as she scanned through the titles of the files, and wearily ran her hands through her hair. She had gone through the list only a few hours earlier, but it was still a surprise how long and comprehensive it was; and the young captain was forced to apply a number of search filters in order to locate the article she sought.

The headline "THREE PERISH IN SHUTTLE DISASTER" flashed up in aggressive bold lettering, followed by several columns of text and a scattering of pictures of the three victims. Like every time before, as her eyes met the smiling ones of Akito, Ruri felt a terrible knot of sorrow form deep inside of her, and she closed them; once again remembering the day of the funeral. There had not been many occasions where she had been consumed by such an overwhelming feeling of despair, but that was certainly one of them. Despite the awful gravity of the day, it had only been when she had returned to her room with the intention of finishing the navigation reports that the rational part of brain finally won out. She had accidentally knocked a glass of water over her terminal, but, rather than get angry, Ruri was unpleasantly surprised to find herself in an inconsolable storm of tears. She couldn't work out, even now, why it had happened, but the ferocity of the moment was matched only by it's short lifespan. It was something that Ruri had only admitted to _herself_ recently, but Akito's death had been the hardest to deal with of the three, and now – after the incident that had occurred during the evacuation of terminal colony Amaterasu – her thoughts and feelings about his death had been thrown into chaos.

She looked back at the young man's face for some time, now staring back at her from the photo of the old Nadesico crew she had on desk. Was he really back?

Ruri sighed, and rolled onto her side to face the wall. At first she had strongly doubted such a possibility, but now, the more she thought about the encounter, the unfounded hope she once felt – that he _was_ alive – returned stronger than ever.

An old memory resurfaced from the internal debate, and Ruri found her gaze shifting to the wardrobe in the far corner of the room. The nagging thought intensified as she realised what was inside, and the young captain dragged herself from the bed to cross the room. As her hand slid open the door, Ruri felt her breath catch strangely in her throat and scolded herself for being so stupid.

On the top shelf, behind the neat piles of folded clothes, rested _the _cardboard box and, despite the earlier self-chastisement, Ruri couldn't stop herself from inhaling sharply at the sight of it. How many years had she held onto the box and its contents? And how many of those years had it been tucked away lost? Forgotten.

Ruri shook her head sadly as she pulled the box gently off the shelf. No, that was wrong. It had _never_ been forgotten – not really – but it _had_ been shut away for a very long time.

Dust spiralled into the air as her trembling hands tugged the lid free, and as she stared at the contents Ruri felt a stab of strange emotions strike her. Within the box was a number of mementos and trinkets from her time on board the ND-001; all things that, despite never admitting she had grown attached to, she could not bear to throw away when she returned to earth. The fish mobile sat on top, partly obscuring a number of other pictures, items and ornaments, but the item she sought lay in plain view in one corner of the box.

The young captain reached in and plucked free the tiny Gekiganger figurine, allowing a tiny smile cross her lips as she thought back to when Akito had given it to her at the Geki-fest. It was so stupid; his return reminded her fiercely of how much she missed him, but there was something else too – something which became apparent the more Ruri turned the figure around in her delicate fingers.

She missed the old days on board the Nadesico; her old crewmates and her old friends – the only things she had ever allowed to develop into something close to a family unit. True enough, she had formed new bonds on the Nadesico; with Hari and Saburota for example, – and it certainly wasn't like she ever felt alone or adrift –it was just that itwouldtake some time before she could ever possess the same feelings about them all.

Reminiscing on the old memories strengthened Ruri's resolve, and she sat back on her heels to stare at the transparent window still hovering above her bed.

"Omoikane," she said quietly. "I am gong to find Akito. And I _am_ going to help him."

She rose to her feet, dropping her gaze to the figurine she still held loosely in her fingers. "For him. For me. And for every single one of the memories I have of that time."

The window went blank for a few moments, and then a single word flashed up against a colourful background. Ruri cocked her head thoughtfully as she read it, and smiled.

"Idiot," she said, echoing the word on the screen as she stood the figurine on her desk. It didn't seem very inspiring in its static pose, so the young captain fiddled with it for a moment in an attempt to make it more look dynamic. "Yes," she conceded as the unbalanced figurine toppled over for the fifth time. "I am."

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Whew, for some reason that was so much harder to write than other fics I've done. Thanks very much for reading it. Leave a review if you want and I'll see ya all next time.


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